Dear Body,
The years of have pretty good to use. True we could stand to lose some weight, but other than that we've had a good ride. We've never been under the knife except for Wisdom Teeth Removal and two bouts of stitches. We've never broken a bone, just had a hairline fractured elbow twice and torn a couple of ligaments in my foot but those were due to accidents and not your fault.
So what's give?? What the hell's going on body?
Thank-you for waking me up this morning with another painful bout of heartburn, I am soooo sorry I ate those whole grain Cheerios. Oh and the bladder infection, not nice, plus what gives with that funky upper stomach pain that doc says was due to a buildup in our innards? Please decide what you want me have so I can treat it and go away.
Sincerely,
Your Owner and Master
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