Post 213-The Big 2K

I recently realized that I never posted about my new scoot. Well, last September my car decided that it's lived it's life and unless I wanted to spend another grand to fix it, it was time to part ways. At first the decision was hard, that was the car I bought new and went off to college in, but honestly, it was a piece of crap. For the past several years it was a headache, I never drove but to do errands, the a/c didn't work and well, it didn't make sense to pay for expense repairs on a vehicle that I didn't drive. Could I have taken the CTA everywhere, sure, but with the rising costs, cutting services and inconsistency of travel, I won't.
Looking back, I've wanted a scooter for years, seriously. I recall as a kid living in Arizona thinking that when I'm grown up and in college I want a scooter, I have no idea where that came from. Being a bargain shopper I did my research, inspections, logistics and cost. I found a used Buddy Genuine 50cc for sale. Only two years old and with 2000 miles, I made a low offer and was excepted. Bad Betty as I named her has been driven year round, in the rain and the heat and in winter (unless there was snow on the ground). I have accepted and learned how to drive a scooter in the city and I love it. Knock on wood, I've not had any problems. The cost of insurance and gas (80 mpg!!! woot!) is less than half of a monthly CTA pass. I've invested a little into it, oil, battery, a basket and rack, a plethera of winter gear to keep me toasty, new helmet and several hand made seat covers.
What I don't have is the constant worry that something will go wrong, that it won't start, that a repair will cost a grand. If I should need something the dealership is 5 miles up the road from me and are super nice. Everyday I see more scooters, there must be at least 10 in my one neighborhood block alone. I'm lucky I can park at the bike lock at work and while the meter maids keep writing tickets for that, I keep winning because I'm on private property. I've been wanting to go to a scooter meet-up but I can't seem to find an active one in the city. I have learned, however, that there is kind of acknowledgement between scooterists and you're supposed to double honk your horn as a sign of hello, cool. I've had no problems doing my shopping, parking near anywhere (no permit needed!) and meeting friends for different activities, heck I even got Chris to buy one (and boy did I find her a deal!) so now I have a two person crafty scooter gang.
So there reason for this post is to say, I just put on my 2000th mile!

Post 212-The Switch

Normally I chug along in life just doing my thing. I usually feel like I'm in a bubble, where nothing changes much and I don't feel any older or different. Other than having two pets and a roommate, I don't have a husband or children to watch change or mark the passing of time. Everyone once in awhile the bubble bursts and I find myself questioning everything and basically over analyze the things in my life that are out of balance, what I am doubting. Depression can set in, and a little has, but so has anger and hatred, which are both sort of new to me. All I have to do is flip the switch in my head but this time it's not so easy. I'm struggling. My usually thing to do is slow down, concentrate, analyze, problem solve and relax, then I feel a change and the switch is done. I find a way to make the bad, good, the unhappy, fortunate. Sometimes it's harder than others when things come to you from all sides, and that is where I find myself. I look to friends for guidance when I'm in this predicament, but since I'm currently questioning said friends, I find myself without all my tools I need for battle.
I think I'm tired. I just bought tickets to visit my grandmother for a whole week during Labor Day, but damn, that's two months off. I do have a 3.5 day weekend because of the holiday, I will try to make the most of it and see how I feel at the end of it.
Goals for the weekend: clean house, redo my bedroom, leave the state for the day and buy artisan cheese, bike ride near water, knit, take a nap outdoors, drink a cocktail, smile a true smile and not a convenient one.

Post 211-I Want

I'm feeling a little greedy, a little blue and a little lost.

I want:
1. to be grateful that I have a job
2. be part of something bigger
3. to conribute to something and make a difference
4. to make more money
5. to be able to knit faster
6. to buy a clothes drying line and not use the dryer
7. go on a roadtrip, have fun and discover something
8. to fall in love
9. to clean my room and destash
10. to find a mentor
11. sew a skirt that fits
12. to start jogging
13. to learn to accept what cannot be change and learn to change what I cannot accept.
14. to travel to someplace new
15. to be seen as someone who can contribute so much that they are valued
16. a break.

Post 210-Hark, Who Goes There?

I just don't know anymore. As I see myself getting older and knowing that things change, I find myself in a repeating pattern. I'm lazy at dating, keeping the house clean and maintaining relationships. It's so easy to blame the march of time, but why do we have to change and accept it? I do everything I can from getting wrinkles, but can't seem to maintain my body, I knit and knit and knit, but never seem to get anywhere. What does it mean to be a grown-up? Am I one, am I not? I don't have a mortgage and no kids in sight, but I have furbabies and school loans. There's an artist in me that has too many ideas that I go in circles and never sit down long enough to do anything.
This weekend reminded me that changes happen around me and I'm not immune.
I came across an old teacher of mine from art school. I've always remembered her and was surprised, that she remembered me. I have a good friend who has been going through some things but has kept me out of loop and the lack of proper communication, misunderstandings, assumptions and stubbornness may have driven us apart. I try to surround myself with a variety of friends who I can learn from, who accept me and allow me to grow.
Can I grow younger please?

Okay, back to needlework based talk. I have been obsessed with a book about Lettering for Hand Stitchers, it's awesome, I got it from the library, it's out of print. A used copy varied from $80 dollars to upwards of $1000. I have looked and research and trolled the internet and eventually found it, in an ebay auction of a lot of 5 books. In the lot, the four other books are worth less the 10 bucks total yet I eagerly paid 20 for the lot, because my book is in it! I can't wait to get it in the mail.
At one time I used this blog as therapy, it was easy to type down what was in my head instead of talking to myself. I wish I could do that now, but some of my friends occasionally read this. I guess instead of just keeping it inside I should just be real and honest.
I need to embrace change, but only on my terms.

Post 209-It Was Good Why It Lasted

Dear Body,
The years of have pretty good to use. True we could stand to lose some weight, but other than that we've had a good ride. We've never been under the knife except for Wisdom Teeth Removal and two bouts of stitches. We've never broken a bone, just had a hairline fractured elbow twice and torn a couple of ligaments in my foot but those were due to accidents and not your fault.

So what's give?? What the hell's going on body?
Thank-you for waking me up this morning with another painful bout of heartburn, I am soooo sorry I ate those whole grain Cheerios. Oh and the bladder infection, not nice, plus what gives with that funky upper stomach pain that doc says was due to a buildup in our innards? Please decide what you want me have so I can treat it and go away.

Sincerely,
Your Owner and Master